Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Welcome Elizabeth Amber!

Everyone please give a warm LIT Manor welcome to guest blogger Elizabeth Amber, author of some *very* hot paranormal historicals with Kensington Aphrodisia. And don't be shy--one lucky commenter will win a copy of NICHOLAS. Elizabeth, take it away....

Never Forget The One That Got Away

Marilyn Monroe, JFK Jr., Jimi Hendrix, Princess Diana, my first love. I lost each of them too soon. They fascinated me. They still do. Forever young, energetic, beautiful, unobtainable.

That’s how I’d describe my first love. Long story short, we dated senior year in high school for five months. I loved him. More than he loved me. We went to different colleges and he met someone else. I shed a lot of tears over that guy. He was fun, funny, tall, muscular, cute, classy, smart, and had a fantastic family that was wealthier than mine. I’ll never forget him.

And that’s a good thing.

Through him, I first learned the piercing joy of loving. I learned the intense, debilitating pain of losing a love I’m desperate to keep, yet sense is slipping away. The highs and lows of that relationship are chiseled on my heart. His loss was a wound, then a bruise. One that never quite healed.

And that’s a good thing.

I never thought I would thank my first love. I thought I’d hate him forever. But he’s a part of me that helps me write characters with deep emotions. Now I use all that pain and desperation; all the volatility of my time with him, in my romance writing.

So, Stephen, wherever you are, thank you for loving me. For all the fun times. For crushing me. I’ve written four romance novels, and you helped with every one. Yes, I still remember you. What? You’re unhappy? You’re sorry you didn’t realize how wonderful I was? You’re miserable now and curse the day you left me? Your wife divorced you, you’re broke, and you’re impotent?

Oh, sorry to hear that.

I think I prefer to remember you the way you were—forever young, energetic, beautiful, unobtainable. A heartbreaker.

Do you remember your first love? Are you glad/sorry you ever met him? What were the good and bad things that you took from the relationship? Do you know where he is now? Do you want to? Leave a comment for a chance to win a copy of Nicholas, The Lords of Satyr.

~ Elizabeth Amber
Nicholas | Raine | Lyon | Dominic : The Lords of Satyr series
Coming in 2010: Dane
erotic historical paranormal romance
Kensington Aphrodisia
Excerpts at:


Barbara said...

ELIZABETH!!! I'm so happy you're here!

Unfortunately, I already have Nicholas! I mean really, who could pass up that cover?!

You don't have to enter me in the contest, but I will answer the question.

My first love, yup, I remember him. I was 15 and he was in my English class in HS. For me it was love at first sight. He was tall, handsome and completely oblivious to me. Or so I thought.

Freshman year came and went with neither of us ever saying so much as hello. Then, on the next to last day of school he sat beside me on the bus. A group of us all got to chatting and before he got off at his stop he leaned down and gave me a peck on the cheek good-bye.

WELL...for me, I thought I had died and gone to heaven! Of course my friends all made it worse with the "oohs and ahhhs" once he got off the bus, lol. (Gotta love High School, lol)

Anyhow, the next day I walk into the school and he's standing there with a bunch of his buddies. I go to walk past feeling nervous--as I usually did around him--and he stops me. He smiled down at me with his dimpled cheeks and perfect teeth and then...he kiss me. Sigh...

I was gone, and my best friend who was with me near passed out, lol.

Yup, it was a moment to remember.

So there you have it, the story of what had been my first "love".

Do I regret it? No.
Do I know where he is? No.
Do I want to? Not really.

But it's one of many memories I'll carry always. ;)

sarabelle said...

Hello LIT ladies and Elizabeth. Welcome to the manor and I so hope you enjoy yourself. Please enter me in contest because I have not had the pleasure to read 1 of these books and I really really want to.
First love was a real jerk. I was young dumb and should have been locked in a closet by my parents. He was older and controlling and I wasted 2 years on him. And thats all I am going to say about that. lmao

Amanda McIntyre said...

Elizabeth, its great to have you at the LIT manor, welcome!

I do not need to be entered in the contest, as I would rather give our readers the chance, but let me just say, I so love your cover art.--rvrtyone of them is just exquisite!

My first door neighbor boy. Used to peek out of my curtain and watch him mow the lawn. Desperately flirted (what little I knew of said topic) did everyting I could to get him to notice me and what happens? His best friend asks me to Homecoming and fate intervened. I eventually married his best friend and we've enjoyed life together with 4 great kids and two careers for more than 31 years;)

Continued success and much love always Elizabeth!

Amanda M.

Cecile said...

Hello Ladies!!!
I love your story of your first love!!!
My first love... wow... haven't thought about this in forever.
I had high school crushes... but nothing like this guy... It was almost like a Romeo and Juliet story.. He was two years older than me, we went to the same high school.. we had a class together (think that was really the only class I never did well in.) He was goregous, tall, and had this sexy smile. My step-dad did NOT want us dating... but my Mom loved him. We dated behind SD's back, but eventually that caught up with us. But we tried everything... We were just desparate to be with each other; didn't matter if it was at the movies (with my Mom) or playing tennis or just being at his house watching tv or listening to the radio with his parents. He was the sweetest thing, kind, considerate and everything you want in a person... I remember one night (at the time we lived about an hour away from each other and that was a long drive), he drove to my house, only to just pass my house to see my light on. Then he called me when he got home and told me what he did... Awww! He said that he just wanted to feel me close. My SD really found out we were still dating and punished me till no tomorrow!
Am glad that I met him... yes.
Good/bad things I took... Nothing bad. Good - just to love with all your heart and love like there is no tomorrow. Forgive faults because we all have them.
Do I know where he is... I think he still lives in the same area he did when we dated. I have seen him a couple of times in the past 10 years. And you can tell when we look at each other that it was a godo thing we had. Not is a creepy way, but just good.
Sorry so long... Memories hit you like a ton of bricks. Thanks for bring back a memory.

Oh and ps, the book cover ****hawt**** I would love a chance to win that!!!!

Charlotte Featherstone said...

Hi Elizabeth, welcome to LIT! It's great having you, and what a cool, original post!

No need to enter me, I have all your books, and love the covers, and the content inside!

Well, this is a loaded question for me. But, I should probably be honest and disclose the truth.

My first love was in grade 12 (is that a senior in the US?) anyway, he was tall, gorgeous, Italian and I thought he was 'it'. He was two hours late for our first date and didn't call. My mother told me I was a bleeping fool to even think of leaving the house when the horn honked in the driveway. What did my mum know, she was a cavewoman in my eyes. What did she know about love and blah, blah.....Incidently, he was late because he was fighting with his brother over the car and he didn't want to call me to tell me because he didn't want me to think he wasn't cool. I melted in the seat when I really should have seen the warning!

Well, apparently mummy knows alot about guys because she had pegged this one.

We dated for four years, and fought and made up. He was passionate, and I thought that I loved that. Naturally, I married him. It was turbulent, with those trademakr passionate make ups. Then, one day, three years into our marriage he died in a plane crash. I was devastated, I mourned him, cried, screamed, railed... UGH it was just horrible. I was 24yrs old and a widow.

Then, three weeks later, I was cleaning out his car to give to his sister when I found a black lace bra (which clearly wasn't mine. The cup sized wasn't anywhere big enough--the bastard) and some photos in the glove compartment.

it was not a good scene, and I said some ugly, venomous things. I had no closure, never found out why, never got to scream at him. And while everyone was feeling the injustice of him dying so young, I was left knowing that he'd cheated on me for God only knows how long, and made me feel like an idiot. At the time, I hated him for making me mourn him, for putting me through that pain, and then ripping out my heart by cheating on me. I cannot even begin to describe the pain of that journey.

This probably sounds very, very sour grapes, but it's been 14yrs and I STILL have not forgiven that man.

So, do I know where he is; probably Heaven--he could charm anyone, including St. Peter I'm sure.

Do I regret meeting him. No. That was my journey and it's taught me many things about people, and most especially about myself and my shortcomings.

Would I want to see him? Yes. I have questions that still need to be answered.

Phew....okay, now I need coffee! ACK! Tragic first loves...
Thanks for stopping by!

Barbara said...

Charlotte...omgosh. I'm so sorry. Wow. I just totally felt that.

But if it makes you feel any better, I'll spill the rest of the beans about my first love.

He and I lived in happy couple bliss for only a few months. Eventually we both became consumed by a pointless jealousy of each other.

Where is she?
Where is he?
Why didn't he call me?
Why didn't she call me?
Is he cheating?
Is she cheating?

We would have constant fights because of it and do stupid things JUST to make each other more jealous.

Finally, a boy in our High School had expressed his interest in me. My boyfriend warned him off. One day what started out as joking around between my boyfriend and I turned into a heated arguement and in his anger, he slapped me.

Yeah, well, I slapped back.

We broke up.

I cried and cried when the relationship ended. So did he. I can still remember with vivid clarity him crying on my front porch telling me he loved me.

It took all the strength I had not to go running back to him. But what choice did I have?

Not many, especially considering my mother and father found out about it. My mother was livid. There was no resuming the relationship.

So, that was that.

Honestly I have no regrets. I don't regret having dated him and I don't regret having ended it.

Years later he came up in conversation. My mom told me, "I always liked him, you know. Deep down, he was a good kid. But you two were just in way to deep for your age."

She was right.

Things happen for a reason and I can honestly say I'm now married to a wonderful husband and father.

I'm happy I had that first love experience, but that's what I look at it as. A learning experience. We live and learn. Sometimes the hard way.

Whew...Okay, now I need some coffee...

Cecile said...

Okay how about some Bailey's cream in everyone's coffee this morning.

Wow, girls... Barbara and Charlotte ~ I feel like an empathy... I feel what you went through... werid.
Guess we all have our stories... Because mine wasn't my first love that taught me lesson... it is my ex-husband. We met my senoir yr. and instantly feel in lust! Not love... I figured that out later... I thought it was love.. it wasn't, just lust. But from that I got the best gift anyone could ask for - Brooke, my baby girl -. Well don't hold your breathe, yes, he was a cheater.. I would found condums in the glove box of his truck, notes tucked under the seat from waitresses who wanted to apparently serve him better, lip stick stains on shirt collars... and I stayed... until one day... I walked up to him and told him I wanted a divorce. Everyone thought I was nuts, because NO ONE knew what was going on. They thought we were the prefect couple. Well... honey... that broke his world, because I would always say that I never wanted to divorce him because my parents were divorced and it is hard to deal with sometimes and I did not want that for Brooke... but I learned it was for the best! I was the better person. But Charlotte, I feel for you for not having closure... If you want one day... **mentally** we need to get together to have a burn party for you honey!!


Genella deGrey said...

Oh, Elizabeth honey - I'm right there with you!

My love was never reciprocated - but I'm positive he regrets me now. We are still friends, and he's said as much.

I'm very happy where I am now however, I can't help but think that in another life I hurt him - badly - and our ever-present Karma is still at work.

Thank you for pouring your heart out onto paper - May we learn each other's lessons without reliving the pain.


Charlotte Featherstone said...

Well, maybe it's us romance writers and readers that attract these guys we fall for so passionately! lol!

My husband now is such an angel, honestly. Although he does occasionally make the comment 'it's been fourteen years, shouldn't the sting be a little less yet?" That's usually when I go all Medusa on his ass and say, 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and unable to say go F yourself. Let that be a lesson to you. Imagine what my fury will be towards you, the father of my child, and still alive for me to release my wrath upon...'
He usually shakes his head and laughs. I trust him. He is not husband #1. I'm a strong person, but I have to conceed that hubby #1 left damage.

Barbara, had I been your mum, I would have done the same thing. Sometimes those romances have a way of just snowballing, don't they? I've learned through working with women, that these men usually keep on smacking and hitting, and if they do manage to stop the physical, they then begin to rely emotional/verbal. You're too sweet to have a guy like that!

Cecile...let's have that party! lol!
Sorry your guy was less than a Knight in Shining Armor.

Now where is Elizabeth to cheer us up, because y'know her heroes aren't jerks!

Caffey said...

Hi Elizabeth! I loved Nicolas! I must get the new one of DOMINIC! This series so rocks! I had to smile reading your story! I did have I think more of a crush that an first love because I think my hubby was my real soul mate so I do believe that our earlier relationships help us grow to find out who really is the right one. Back to the one that was not, he gave me the excuse that he needed to focus on college right now and didn't have the time and needed to focus on his college work. I didn't say a thing, I just walked away from him. I walked away with my grief and was mad at myself that I didn't fight it. But a week later as I looked to the crowds on the campus for him, I found him walking with another girl holding her hand! I simmered and then walked up to him and told him something like 'I see who you had to study now' and a couple of other things that were a slap to his ego, I hope. Too that when he dropped her, she'd get back to him too. I always thought of him as a villain in a story in my mind. He still hasn't gotten his HEA. LOL

Cecile said...

Any day you want to have that party, you just let me know!!! LOL!!
Well, I guess they are can't be our knights in shinning armour. But hey that is why it is called life. We live and learn and hopefully along the way grow.
I would like to think that he was my "grow" time... I grew up a lot (I was 17 when I was preg with Brooke) and noticed that things were not as they should be.. and made my own life.

Kate Douglas said...

Wow...this one sure made me smile, but my first thought was, thank GOODNESS he got away! I was in love and we were SO wrong for each other, but we stayed together through my junior and senior years of high school, and broke up when I went off to college.

Yesterday I celebrated my 37th anniversary with the one who DIDN'T get away, thank goodness! We're having even more fun now than we did when we first met so many years ago--he's the guy who, the first time I saw him, I knew I was going to marry. I am so glad we did, but you're right about using the ones who got away! I even use another one who should have gotten away but that I married first--he makes a wonderful villain prototype! Thanks for a great post.

Kristina Cook/Kristi Astor said...

What an interesting topic! I never really thought about it before, but yes, I'm constantly drawing on all those emotions related to my 'first loves' when I write. In part, I think that's what we, as romance authors, are always trying to capture in our writing--the 'essence' of first love.

I guess I'm lucky in that it was my second love who was the controlling/overly passionate/way out of control love--the one that I wish I could take back. What was I thinking?! Talk about toxic.

But my first love, however, was a great guy--and yes, I loved him intensely even though I was only 15-16 at the time. Interestingly enough, he was only on my radar at the time because one of my friends had a crush on him (though she didn't know him at all--she just used to stare at him in the lunch room and loved his aqua-colored eyes!). I thought he was pretty cute, too, but he was my friend's crush. You know how that goes.

Then a male friend (who was friends with the guy) told me one day that the guy in question had a huge crush on me, and had all year (I found out later just how extensive his crush had been!). Amazing how easy it is to get interested in someone once you know they 'like' you, isn't it?! My friend--the one who was originally crushing on him--gave me the two-thumbs-up go ahead, so I told his friend that I was interested.

We went out for over a year, right up until my family was about to move away from Atlanta just before eleventh grade. We broke up a couple months before the move, right before I left town for a 6-week long summer dance program.

I totally remember the anguish I felt, feeling as if I'd die without him, that we were *meant* to be together. I cried for weeks after we moved. After all, he'd been a great boyfriend--loving, kind, caring, almost reverential. I had a shoebox full of treasured mementos that psycho boyfriend--love #2--made me destroy. To this day, I regret that.

We did stay in touch, though (I got Valentine's Day cards from him for *years* afterward), and whenever things were bad in my life, he was always there for me. During a couple tough times in college, we were able to drive across a couple of states and visit (always platonic). We're still occasionally in touch via email--I know he's married and has two kids now--and his mom even came to a booksigning I had in Atlanta once!

But looking back...we're nothing alike, really. The only thing we had in common was our love. It never would have lasted, and we're definitely better off as friends, so I'm not at all sorry he 'got away' (my husband is definitely my 'true love'--no doubt about it!). But I'm also not sorry that he was my first love--he was a good one. So, thanks Dean!

Charlotte Featherstone said...

you should totally write a YA about this guy!!!!!!

I would have liked to have had that really sweet first love. But, then it was nice falling in love with my second husband because the first was such a rotter! lol!

Kerry said...

Hi Elizabeth
I already have all ur Lord of Saytr books, but i want to leave my input to.

My first love was one of my older brothers friends, he is actually only a couple of months older than me, but hung out with my brother.
He was tall, good looking, funny and kind. We actually went out for 6 months, it was a great 6 months and he became one of my bestest friends. We broke up due to some nasty rumours which were floating around but we still stayed friends after i got over the initial hurt. I wouldn't say i pined over him, but it always hurt when he was in my house and i always ended up going to my room where i couldn't see.

About 4 months after we broke up we ended up together one night, a night which always stays in my memory. Anyway i moved away for family reasons, but we always stayed in touch.

I lost touch with him until about 2 years ago when we saw each other again at my brothers birthday party. In the time we had been out of touch, he had got married and i'd become a single mum.

The sparks flew again when we saw each other, which again was quite painful as he was now married and belonged to someone else. I was happy for him and left the party knowing that we were still good friends. Since then, his marriage is on the rocks and we talk to each other every week. We've even met up for coffee, so now i find myself falling back in love with him and confused about our feelings for each other as i find myself to scared to ask the questions i want to know incase i don't like the answers.

He is the only man who has ever treated me as me and he respects me as a single mum. We have great talks and he always cheers me up and makes me laugh,

What do i want out of our friendship?
Well.....maybe what i never got to have the chance to have when we were younger.
Can i walk away from a possible relationship?
I don't think i can....what if he is my one and we were meant to go our seperate ways to once again find each other and realised what we've been missin all these years.

Who knonws what the future holds, I certainly don't, but i'm willing to wait around and find out what happens next.

Well, there's my first true love story, one that still hasn't finished. It's a little strange i'm sure, but i always like to see where the path of life takes me and where i'll end up :-)

Kristina Cook/Kristi Astor said...

Nah, it wouldn't make an 'interesting' enough story for YA--too boring, LOL! Now the psycho boyfriend--that one's a more lurid tale, LOL!

Not that guy #1 didn't have a bit of a 'bad boy' side, too. He definitely did. And we did have a fight or two. I think we broke up once, for a few days. I remember sobbing uncontrollably. My mom finally dragged me out of the house and took me to see the movie Vision Quest (why do I remember that detail?!). I think we were back together the next day, though.

Kristina Cook/Kristi Astor said...

What a great story, Kerry! I hope it follows a satisfactory path. Things happen for a reason, I like to think!

Casie Ryan said...

Hi Elizabeth!

I definitely remember my first love. I met him when I was still in high school and he had just graduated and had joined the Navy. We dated long distance for a few years, and then lost touch until a steamy night in college. Then we lost touch again until last year. Timing and situations just always seemed to pull us apart. We always had a special connection that's still there and still strong. But now we're both married and have moved on with our lives. If we're ever both single again at the same time, who knows - we might see if the third time's a charm - but for now - we're both content with where we are in life, being good friends and remembering our time as more than that fondly. :)

Elizabeth Amber said...

Hi Barbara!!
Great to see you! I enjoy your wonderful blog, Happily Ever After.
And I loved your post and am envious of you. How many times in my life have I wished for exactly this to happen with my unobtainable guy-of-the-moment, but it never did. I'm so glad it did happen to you! And in front of your friends, then his. Sigh. How cool.

Hi Sarabelle,
I’m glad the jerk is part of your past, not your present! Good for you for getting out. The jerks in my past have contributed to my writing, so I have to thank them for that if nothing else. But I really could’ve lived without a few of them. Thanks for the warm welcome to LIT.

Hi Amanda,
Another great story. (This brought to mind some scenes in Desperate Housewives where Gabrielle is watching a hot guy mow her lawn.) That’s so ironic that you married your crush’s friend. I’m glad you’re happy!

Hi Cecile,
I love your story, too! I couldn’t stop reading it. And I’m glad this is a good memory for you. I often ask people how they met their spouse because I’m fascinated with all the ways relationships happen. Your comment about “to love with all your heart and love like there is no tomorrow” is one I’ll remember.

~ Elizabeth Amber

Barbara J. Hancock said...

Oh, this post had me thinking all afternoon. I read it and then had to run pick my children up from school, but I just had to pop back by and leave a comment.

At sixteen, I made the decision to break up with an emotionally abusive boyfriend. I loved him with all my heart, but I knew the extreme highs and lows he put me through were not healthy. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I missed the highs *for years*. Now I'm a thirty eight year old romance author who often channels the old pain of those times and also the strength of the girl I was, wise and foolish all at the same time.

Elizabeth Amber said...

I’m so sorry. How incredibly devastating. Your findings after his death and the lack of closure make it even harder. Thanks for sharing this. I’m hoping it helped more than it hurt to write about it.
Also wanted to say hanks for your kind words about the satyr novel covers. I adore the cover of Addicted, too. It’s gorgeous. Do you like it? I wonder if the fact that you write romance is fueled by what you’ve been through?

Yikes, slapping! I’m glad you got away from him and all the jealousy that he brought.
In college I dated a guy who was a friend of a girlfriend. After about six fun dates, he had too much to drink and slapped me in the parking lot. It wasn’t a hard slap, but I was so shocked and scared by it that I never went out with him again.

Hi Cecile,
That’s so tough when everything in your relationship looks good to others and they give you a hard time about breaking it up. Cheaters are some of the worst. Good for you for having the good sense to know when it was time to go your own way and congratulations on being the mom of a sweetie like Brooke!
I have to tell you that I smiled over your line about waitresses wanting to serve him better. :o) Burn Party would be a great book title about some women who get together to burn the crap their loser guys left behind.

Genella, hi!
I’m glad life is good for you. And thank you for the line: May we learn each other's lessons without reliving the pain. That’s a beautiful sentiment and I’ll remember it.

~ Elizabeth Amber

Elizabeth Amber said...

Good to see you, Caffey!
I admire you for not fighting. I always tried to stop THE END from coming even when it was inevitable, and I think my self-respect suffered, which made my recovery after break-ups harder. So good for you! And also, good for you for not slinking away when you saw him with someone else! You’re happy. Yay! He’s not. Okay, I won’t gloat over this for you--but maybe just a little “yay”.

So glad you came by in spite of your busy schedule. Kate’s got two contracts for series and is super busy. Huge congratulations on 37 years. You rock. Looking forward to meeting that husband of yours someday.

~ Elizabeth Amber

Cecile said...

Hi Ms Elizabeth!
That is one of my fave things to live by: “to love with all your heart and love like there is no tomorrow” because that is what makes hubby #2 wonderful. I love him with all my heart, because he deserves that and I love him like there is no tomorrow simply because we never know.

I would have to say that is one of the roughest things, when people have no idea what goes on behind closed doors and want to judge. Because Brooke was so young (6), people were not happy with me to say the least. But I was miserible and even though she was young... she knew I was not happy.
And when I found the waitress note.. I wanted to blow up!! I could not believe someone would write that... that is when I learned what the "real" world was and got wise!

I had a burn party after the divorce was final and that was the best therapy (besides shopping for new "rock your world" clothing ~ cuz I lost weight!!) I could ever ask for. Let me know when you want to write that book.. I gotta a million stories for you!!! LOL!!

If you like to know the hows and why of meeting.. I will really make you laugh.. The now hubby... I was dating his brother.. and then we met! He brother was a cheater too... un-be-known to me... I was the other woman. He and the girlfriend were "taking a break'... yea, figured that out later too... but I meet hubby and our story continues to unfold... Oh and there is no ill feelings with the brother.

Life is full of choices... we can sit and ponder on our box... or take the boxl, shove up **somewhere** and be the stronger person!

Elizabeth Amber said...

A huge thank you for having me guest blog. What a great group!
As a matter of fact, the way I started dating my first love is that someone told me he liked me. It’s nice that you’ve stayed in touch with your guy. In some ways I wish I had, but I truly have a need to remember him as he was. Before the breakup, I was sooo happy when things were good. I’m glad you’re happy now with your hubby. And no doubt our past relationships shape what we write, even when it’s happening subconsciously.

Hello Kerry!
Oh, man, take care of yourself in all this. As Kristina said, things happen for a reason. I do hope things work out in the best possible way for everyone involved.
Also, thank you so much for reading the satyr novels. I hope you enjoyed them!

Hi Cassie,
Great to see another rockin’ Aphrodisia author here. Your story is so interesting to me. I’ve never had a guy come back into my life as a love interest. I’ve remained friends with some former boyfriends, but when the love is gone, it has stayed gone in my case. I’m so glad you’re happily married and have fond memories of your Navy guy!

Hi Barbara (Hancock),
Beautifully and movingly said. We do draw on the pain and the loves of our lives in order to write. Thanks for coming back after picking up the kids to post this!

flchen1 said...

Hi, Elizabeth! I do remember my first--it was my senior year in high school, and he was the best friend of the guy dating one of my best friends. Our dating was the cause of a great deal of conflict between me and my parents, and we broke up before the end of the school year. I look back at it as a learning experience and don't know where he is now; I'm not sure I want to (I suppose there's always Google or Facebook ;))

VampFanGirl said...

((((Barbara and Charlotte))))

What is it about our first loves? It seems that mothers are always right in the saying that the first will never last but it still hurts.

I met my first love at 14. He was a tall gangly freckled faced boy whose only real claim to fame was his crystal clear blue eyes. But at 14 I wasn't ready for a commitment so his ardor cooled, for a time.

16 and looking for love, my 14 year old crush was back and boy did he changed over the last two years! Towering at 6'4" with a stomach you could wash clothes on and the man had the biggest hands I'd ever seen. They could totally envelope my own which was a releif to me at the time cause for some reason I thought I had "man hands".

He was my first everything....first kiss, first lover, first love. Our relationship was passion overload. Neither of us could get enough of one another. But we were also so cruel to one another. Ack! The names that we tossed out. My mouth has never been more foul.

I got into a lot of trouble with that guy. Unsanctioned sleepovers that caused my parents to freak out. Sex was a no-no despite the fact that both my parents are childen of the seventies. I was a whore for having sex with one person. Upon their discovery I was sent to the gynocologist and to a therapist. I still haven't forgiven either of them in their assumption that something was "wrong" with me because I was a lustful teenager. Miracurously, my boyfriend stuck it out and endured my parents wrath.

We were hot and heavy for two years. Sometimes I think I see him and my heart pounds and my hands sweat. Amazing that he still has that effect on me. My embarassment when it's not him is acute. We went through a lot together.

He'll be someone that I'll always remember and for reasons undisclosed, he's also someone that I'll eternally regret meeting...

Occasionally I catch wind of his whereabouts and I stir clear of that area. I hope I never see him. I wouldn't even know what to say...

ranearia said...

*fans self looking at the cover*


Hm, I can't say I've ever been madly in love with someone. Oh, I've had childhood love toward some boy before but nothing that compares to the strong ladies who have posted before me.

I remember though one guy I really liked, I knew where he was in the hallway without looking, I would blush when he talk to me in class. I never said anything as I was just to shy to open up and till this day am the same way but also I've seen to much of the painful side of love and have been more scared to make that leap.
Then again I have to admit I was sadly a heartbreaker to those guy friends who I just wanted to be friends with but they wanted more :(
I once told my best friend the day I truly fall in love will be the day I'll be changed forever.

Elizabeth Amber said...

Hi, Flchen!
Your timing was like mine. What is it about senior year in high school?
It’s usually easier for women to find their first/lost loves on Google, Facebook, or other social networking sites than it is for them to find us since women tend to change their last names, whereas men don’t. I’m not going to try. I think I’m afraid of stirring up old heartache. Thanks for dropping by LIT today!

Hi VampFanGirl,
Wow, your crush sounds like he aged well in two years. You took the words out of my mouth (or my brain rather) with your comment: “I hope I never see him. I wouldn’t know what to say…” I’m just glad I’ve moved so much in my life that it’s unlikely I’ll ever accidentally run into my first love.
And LOL about you thinking you had “man hands”.

Ranearia, hi!
So you’ve never fallen in love? Wow. When you do fall, I hope the guy falls deeply, madly in love with you right back!
And thanks for finding the covers hot enough to do some fanning. I completely agree btw. Kensington designs really nice covers, and I love what they did with The Lords of Satyr, especially the Nicholas cover. There’s a German edition of Nicholas with a totally different cover, that I like just as well I think. Here’s a link

Wow, that's really long.
~ Elizabeth Amber

joysann said...

Hi Elizabeth, enjoyed your blog today, with the "forever young" idea. I don't have a "first love" story; there were lots of infatuations and lusts and heartaches, and all that's long gone, largely forgotten. That good, I'm thinking. But thanks for telling your story, and, too, the others who've commented here. I appreciate that you color your stories with real life experiences, making them all the richer.

Is there Bailey's for that coffee?

Mari said...

It's a great question. My first love was a man who attended our church and helped out with all of the church functions and activities. I was about 11 at the time and I was COMPLETELY head over heels in love! I think he was in his early twenties at the time. He was always so nice to me and was so polite to every one, always willing to help any one out. I remember telling my mom that I was going to marry him!
I was absolutely convinced that one day he would open his eyes and figure out that we belonged together.
I remember once at a Christmas social I asked my Mom to ask him if he would dance with me and he said yes! So we danced to "the twist" together and I was on cloud nine.
So imagine how devastated I was when not soon afterward it was announced that he was getting married! I was CRUSHED!
I was inconsolable. I remember that I would sleep at night with a picture I had of him and cry and cry.
I honestly don't know how my parents put up with me, I was so distraught! I thought my life was over and to my 11 year old mind I was betrayed!
So, long story short, this man still attends my Church and I still laugh about it to this day. His wife says she remembers those mutinous looks I gave her every time I saw her! Too funny!

CrystalGB said...

I do remember my first love. He was a deceptive user that I wasted 2 years of my life on. What I learned from the demise of the relationship is that you can't depend on another person for your happiness.

My Blog 2.0 (Dottie) said...

My first love was my best friend's brother. He was so sweet and she had the yummiest brothers (she had three of them, but the youngest of the boys was my favorite). I have known him my whole life... When I was going to get married, he called and asked me if I was sure I wanted to marry someone else. I was sure, but he made my heart thunder when I was younger...he still sometimes does when I remember the fun we had together.

Do I regret knowing him? No

Do I know where he is? Sort of, I know what city he lives in.

Do you want to? It would be nice to see him, how's he doing, what are his kids like...

Elizabeth Amber said...

Hi Joysann!
Thank you for dropping by. I so enjoy visiting you and Barbara at Beyond Her Book at Today’s post on Star Trek were appropo since I’m going tonight with my husband, who’s a Trekkie like Barbara.
Ooh, I wish you had a first love story. I truly love hearing the good, the bad, and the humorous of how couples first met. I agree that it is nice being out of the tumultuous dating whirl (for me anyway), but I remember it well and get a thrill out of hearing dating stories from my bf and others.

Hi Mari!
Oh, your story is so adorable and poignant. There’s nothing quite like the agony of young love. I remember how I always thought everything hung on whether or not my love was reciprocated. Major tunnel vision. Thanks so much for sharing this one with us.

Crystal, hi!
I’m so sorry! I think you hit it on the head when you said you can’t depend on another for your happiness. It took me some time to learn this, and sometimes I forget it. But it’s so true. And it’s really wearing to date someone who depends on YOU for their happiness.

Hello Dottie!
This is so nice to hear. I love it when crushes segue into friendships. This has happened to me with a few guys, even after tumultuous dating relationships. It can be hard if there’s still any attraction there though. Thanks for sharing this.

~ Elizabeth Amber

joysann said...

Hi again, Elizabeth... :-) just cuz I don't have a good "first love" story to tell doesn't mean I don't have a terrific romantic story to tell, happily-ever-after and all. But it's a long story, so I'll save it for another day... Have a lovely day.

Elizabeth Amber said...

Happy Mothers Day to everyone, and congratulations to Sarabelle!

My bf randomly chose you as the winner of a copy of Nicholas, The Lords of Satyr. Please email me at elizabethamber1 at aol dot com with your snailmail address and I'll mail it out.

Thanks again to Kristi and the Lust in Time ladies for having me as a guest blogger. I really had a ball with this discussion!

Elizabeth Amber said...

I understand. There are parts of my first love story that I left out. Some of that stuff gets too personal for me to tell. We have to remain women of mystery in some ways, right? Maybe you'll put some of the emotion of your terrific love story only you can tell it in a book one of these days? :o)